Bernie's cabin fever

Pity Bernie Madoff.

Thousands of people have lost their savings because of this man and Madoff is feeling sorry for himself. According to the New York Post, Madoff is upset about being trapped in his palatial Upper East Side estate and cannot even go out to grab a bite. Madoff is free on $10 million bail, but he is under house arrest.

"I'm a prisoner in my own house!" Madoff fumed. "I can't go anywhere! I'm stuck here all day!"

First of all Bernie, do you really think it's safe to wander out on your own? Don't you think the days of taking a neighborhood stroll with Ruthie are probably over? You've pissed off so many people that there is probably a bounty for your head. Little old ladies from Palm Beach are waiting to jump you as soon as they see you walk out of your building. Eating out probably isn't safe either. I would also get someone to taste your food before eating if I were you -- just a thought.

Second of all, how can you get bored in a $7 million apartment? It reportedly has four bedrooms, five bathrooms and a library. (Sidenote, why does he have more bathrooms than bedrooms?) Maybe prison, the real Big House, will be a good change of environment for Bernie. There's so much to do that he'll never get bored! Look at how Martha Stewart turned out. Old Boss Lady spent time in the slammer microwaving apples and partaking in yoga classes.

And finally, it goes without saying that he's lucky to have a roof over his head. How many of his victims are now left wondering about their own security, home and future because of Madoff? Not to mention the charitable organizations who put their trust and money in Madoff's hands, only to see it vanish.

So sorry, Bernie. I don't feel sorry for you. I don't even understand why you're free on bail. I hope you lose your multiple homes, cars, yachts and other toys that you purchased by devious and illegal means. I hope you truly understand some of the pain that others are feeling right now in this country. But judging from the strange dolphin-like grin on your face and your comments so far, it seems rather unlikely.