Even if it's Ice Cream, it's Ours Now

Just caught this in today's NYT Dealbook:

Just how much of a secret are Merrill Lynch’s bonus numbers? As secret as, say, the recipe for Carvel’s ice cream?

That was the comparison that Bank of America’s lawyers made Friday morning in a New York courtroom, as they tried to persuade a judge to let them keep information about the investment bank’s top-earning employees private.

The lawyers compared the legal battle over the pay data — which Andrew M. Cuomo, the attorney general of New York, is seeking as part of an investigation — to a lawsuit involving the secret formula for Carvel’s famous desserts, according to an audio feed of the testimony from the Courtroom View Network...

Bank of America has tried to prevent the names from being made public, arguing that it would cause the company “grave harm,” making it easier for rivals to poach employees and invading workers’ privacy. The bank’s lawyers repeated those arguments in Friday’s hearing.

Unbelievable.  Could BofA's lawyers flaunt their client's "Money for Nothing" attitude any more obnoxiously? 

If both Merrill Lynch and their parent company, Bank of America,  received billions in bailout money — which they both have — those lists of top-earning employees are now owned by us, the public.  Why is this even in argument?

The last bit about the "grave harm" such exposure poses for the company, making it easier for rivals to poach Merrill/Bank of America's top-employees is laughable, because:

A) Said top-employees pocketed billions and lost much of the rest.  They're as desirable as bunch of toxic assets.

B) They have no rivals.  Do they think Goldman would want these bozos?

C) Who's 'poaching' overpaid executives these days? 

D) We're talking about investment bankers, not black ops specialists of the CIA.

What this illuminates is alarming.  They may have purged John Thain and his band of merry interior decorators, but his Antoinettish "because I'm worth it" attitude obviously still pervades the upper ranks at Merrill cum BofA.  

This culture needs a serious reboot, or a booting of all its top brass.  Rather than fear the poaching of their top executives, Kenneth Lewis et al should fear that we - their new bosses - suggest they purge their precious top employees and start over.  

Maybe it's time we take over the ice cream factory — we own most of it already.